If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
The wife, or bitter half.
REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.
Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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