Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.
Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
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