The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
If you work just for money, you'll never make it, but if you love what you're doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours.
I have always admired men and women who used their talents to serve the community, and who were highly respected and admired for their efforts and sacrifices, even though they held no office whatsoever in government or society.
I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.
When I give a man an office, I watch him carefully to see whether he is swelling or growing.
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.
The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
It all depends on which side of the desk you're sitting on.
There are no office hours for leaders.
No people is wholly civilized where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse.
Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty... satisfaction. That's what I'm... you know. Trust people and they'll be true to you. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great.
Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.
If your company has a clean-desk policy, the company is nuts and you're nuts to stay there.
A tall, well-built man with a deep chest and broad shoulders can carry a heavy burden with ease and unconcern, and still keep one hand free; a dwarf would be crushed by half that weight. Thus lofty posts make great men greater still, and small men much smaller.
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.
Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and I have a great one. 'Little Kid Lover.' That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice ... strike three.
Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
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