Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
Write drunk; edit sober.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts
Peace was declared, but not all of us were drunk with joy or stricken blind.
The last thing I stole was a box of Coca Cola from a parked truck in Adelaide. I was nice and drunk. It was New Year's Eve. And that was about 28 years ago.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
Never trust a man when he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
Not drunk is he who from the floor - Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is They, who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise.
So, after awhile, you can only get so much happiness from a guy who's drunk come up and tell you you're great.
I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably. A couple of bloody marys or several glasses of champagne, and suddenly it's like you're on a roller coaster.
Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself to death.
What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken?
One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'
I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get drunk. I don't do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don't drive at night.
Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
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