Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
Write drunk; edit sober.
I don't drink, and I don't smoke. It's a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.
I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
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