That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
And malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
Beer is made by men, wine by God.
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