Drink Quotes - Page 9

• Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Missing You, Strong, Drinking

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

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• I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.

  Mark Twain

  Drinking, Night, Scotch

  Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.42, Courier Corporation

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• 

  You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  Dean Martin

  Clever, Lying, Humorous

  In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

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• If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Retirement, Drinking, Book

  "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

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• I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

  Bette Midler

  Drinking, Drunk, Perspective

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• To do good work one must eat well, be well housed, have one's fling from time to time, smoke one's pipe, and drink one's coffee in peace

  Vincent Van Gogh

  Coffee, Good Work, Pipe

  14 Copy quote

• Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Drinking, Book

  "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

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• I dare not drink before a gig because I'll get tired and blow it. So I have to sit drinking tea in a caravan.

  John Bonham

  Drinking, Tired, Blow

  46 Copy quote

• Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

  Lord Byron

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  'Don Juan' (1819-24) canto 2, st. 179

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• Humanity I love you because when you're hard up you pawn your intelligence to buy a drink.

  e. e. cummings

  Love, Humanity, Pawns

  XLI Poems (1925) "La Guerre," no. 2

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• I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Party, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Drinking

  111 Copy quote

• I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Hunting

  74 Copy quote

• A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Drinking, Book

  105 Copy quote

• Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Clever

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Travel, Book, Drinking

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• Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Alcohol, Done

  "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

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• I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

  W. C. Fields

  Inspirational, Funny, Book

  In Corey Ford Time of Laughter (1970) p. 182

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• I drink therefore I am.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Clever, Drinking

  19 Copy quote

• I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Humor, Water

  7 Copy quote

• I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

  W. C. Fields

  Beautiful, Drinking, Wine

  Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (motion picture) (1941).

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• First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Funny, New Year, Drinking

  F. Scott Fitzgerald (2011). “On Booze (New Directions Pearls)”, p.92, New Directions Publishing

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• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  Pope John XXIII

  Birthday, Drinking, Wine

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• One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

  Samuel Johnson

  Mistake, Drinking, Food

  "Life of Samuel Johnson". Book by James Boswell. Volume II, p. 659, 1791.

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• People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

  Ann Landers

  Drinking, Swimming, Beer

  31 Copy quote