I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch.
One good thing about rain in Scotland. Most of it ends up as scotch.
The proper drinking of Scotch whisky is more than indulgence: it is a toast to civilization, a tribute to the continuity of culture, a manifesto of man's determination to use the resources of nature to refresh mind and body and enjoy to the full the senses with which he has been endowed.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
What I really love is my scotch. It's the power, the power of positive drinking.
Give me a scotch, I'm starving.
There is no such thing as a bad whisky. Some whiskies just happen to be better than others.
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.
The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.
Scotch Whisky is about the only thing left that is guaranteed to bring comfort to mankind.
There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and the other one is Malt Whisky
Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?
I like my whisky old and my women young.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!
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