Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
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