Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
Homer no function beer well without.
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
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