Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Homer no function beer well without.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
Art is what separates us from the animals.
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow
You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends