Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Homer no function beer well without.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Art is what separates us from the animals.
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor!
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
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