Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?
You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
Homer no function beer well without.
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.
I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
Art is what separates us from the animals.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
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