Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
If you think research is expensive, try disease!
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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