Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
If you think research is expensive, try disease!
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.
There are no nudists in cold areas.
The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
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