Sarcasm Quotes

• Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

  Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.33, Courier Corporation

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• The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Sarcastic, Law

  "W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

  166 Copy quote

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• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  609 Copy quote

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• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  65 Copy quote

• Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Flattery, Form, Lowest

  24 Copy quote

• The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde: Novel, Short Stories, Poetry, Essays and Plays”, p.810, GENERAL PRESS

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• I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

  Tyler Oakley

  Sass, Language, Speak

  101 Copy quote

• I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Smile

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  105 Copy quote

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• The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Relationship, Sarcastic, Funny Inspirational

  254 Copy quote
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  Don't be humble... you're not that great.

  Golda Meir

  Sarcastic, Humble, Humility

  Quoted in N.Y. Times, 18 Mar. 1969

  107 Copy quote

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  If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Laughing

  454 Copy quote
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  When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Death, Forgiveness

  114 Copy quote

• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

  Russell Lynes

  Sarcastic, Wise, Stupid

  20 Copy quote

• A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Motivational, Business

  Mark Twain, R. Kent Rasmussen (1997). “The quotable Mark Twain: his essential aphorisms, witticisms & concise opinions”, McGraw-Hill/Contemporary

  103 Copy quote

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• A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

  Kin Hubbard

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Silence

  31 Copy quote

• Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

  Napoleon Bonaparte

  Witty, Funny Inspirational, Business

  "The Military Quotation Book" by James Charlton, (p. 93), 2002.

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• The 100% American is 99% idiot.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Idiot

  31 Copy quote

• Stay with me; I want to be alone

  Joey Lauren Adams

  Sarcastic, Want, Stay With Me

  13 Copy quote

• An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Funny, Business, Future

  68 Copy quote

• Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.

  John Knowles

  Weak, Protest

  10 Copy quote

• Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

  Jonathan Swift

  Sarcastic, Glasses, Gulliver

  'The Battle of the Books' (1704) preface

  17 Copy quote

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• Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

  Drew Carey

  Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs

  46 Copy quote

• He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Friendship, Sarcastic

  "The Works of Oscar Wilde".

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• When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

  Eric Hoffer

  Sarcastic, Freedom, People

  Passionate State of Mind (1955) p. 21

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• Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.

  Jonathan Swift

  Glasses, Faces, World

  Jonathan Swift (2013). “The Very Best of Jonathan Swift In Plain and Simple English (Translated)”, p.534, BookCaps Study Guides

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