Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
There is certainly no defence or water -proof garment against adverse fortune which is, on the whole, so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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