Humour Quotes

• Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

  James Thurber

  Inspirational, Humor, Emotional

  The New York Post, February 29, 1960.

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• Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch.

  Cyndi Lauper

  Messages, Serious, Vehicle

  43 Copy quote

• Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.

  Simon Wiesenthal

  Happiness, Smile, Laughter

  40 Copy quote

• There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.

  Rufus Wainwright

  Wonderful, Moments, Tragic

  51 Copy quote
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  A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.

  Hugh Sidey

  Funny, Happiness, Happy

  49 Copy quote

• Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

  Brooke Shields

  Funny, Life, Witty

  Testimony at House of Representatives hearings on cigarette advertising, 25 June 1981

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• Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Dream, Witty

  "Sane Man". Documentary, Comedy, 1989.

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• Laughter is more serious than tears.

  Toni Morrison

  Laughter, Tears, Serious

  12 Copy quote

• Laughter is very infectious, and why it should be so is a most interesting neurological problem. But it also has other, more physiological, benefits. Apparently it boosts the immune system, reduces stress hormones, massages the heart and diaphragm and engenders a 'feel good' factor.

  Semir Zeki

  Laughter, Stress, Heart

  7 Copy quote

• Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

  Edward de Bono

  Funny, Wisdom, Humorous

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  A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

  William Arthur Ward

  Inspirational, Life, Happiness

  107 Copy quote

• The ironic humor comes from the distance between what we understand about ourselves and what is truly going on in ourselves.

  Robert Olen Butler

  Distance, Ironic

  8 Copy quote

• I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

  Billy Crystal

  Feet, Feels Right, Ifs

  6 Copy quote

• Laughter is an independent, tremendously important, and lurid emotion.

  Wyndham Lewis

  Laughter, Independent, Important

  "Contemporary Verse". Book by Kenneth Allott, 1948.

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• I had placed my stick on the table, as I do every evening. It had been specially made to suit my height, to enable me to walk without too much difficulty. As I was standing up, a customer called to me: 'Monsieur, don't forget your pencil.' It was very unkind, but most funny.

  Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

  Sticks, Tables, Height

  44 Copy quote

• Think of what would happen to us... if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.

  Thomas Lansing Masson

  Thinking, Long, Would Be

  Thomas Lansing Masson (1922). “Our American Humorists”

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• My father used to brag that I wasn't a ham, I was the whole pig.

  Jim Carrey

  Father, Pigs, Ham

  Commencement Speech at Maharishi University of Management, www.mum.edu. May 24, 2014.

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  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  Miles Kington

  Funny, Hilarious, Wise

  The Independent (UK), March 28, 2003.

  583 Copy quote

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• Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

  John Kenneth Galbraith

  Humorous, Standards, Concerned

  8 Copy quote

• It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At the time, they were the two most unpleasant cultures in the entire world, and richly deserved each other. Still, the story of how stout Cortes blustered, bullied and bludgeoned his way to collapsing an entire empire with a handful of contagious hoodlums is astonishing.

  A. A. Gill

  Two, History, Heaven

  42 Copy quote

• Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'.

  Kevin Myers

  Teamwork, There Is No I In Team, Funny Team

  9 Copy quote

• Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

  Alan Bennett

  Inspirational, Funny, Wall

  Alan Bennett (2008). “Alan Bennett Plays 1: Forty Years On, Getting On, Habeas Corpus and Enjoy”, p.53, Faber & Faber

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• He laughs best whose laugh lasts.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Laughing, Lasts

  7 Copy quote

• Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that Humour excites in those who lack it.

  George Saintsbury

  Humor, Savages, Curious

  George Saintsbury (1950). “A Last Vintage: Essays and Papers”

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• Wit is an intermittent fountain; kindness is a perennial spring.

  Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

  Kindness, Spring, Fountain

  6 Copy quote