Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot." "Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time." Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you?
It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
That's part of our policy, is not to be taken seriously because I think our opposition, whoever they may be in all their manifest forms, don't know how to handle humour.
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that Humour excites in those who lack it.
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends