If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.
We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.
The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, "Does this fish think?" I would even ask others, "Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think?" And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
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