Will Cuppy Quotes

Quotes about:

• If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

  Will Cuppy

  Cat, Animal, Doe

  69 Copy quote

• Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

  Will Cuppy

  Animal, Men, Race

  6 Copy quote

• Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

  Will Cuppy

  People, Lions, Loses

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  15 Copy quote

• Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

  Will Cuppy

  Beauty, Running, Thinking

  Will Cuppy (1951). “How to Get from January to December”

  8 Copy quote

• We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

  Will Cuppy

  Mistake, Making Mistakes, Purpose

  Will Cuppy (1951). “How to Get from January to December”

  11 Copy quote

• Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.

  Will Cuppy

  People, May, Normal

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.107, David R. Godine Publisher

  6 Copy quote

• All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.

  Will Cuppy

  Science, Men, People

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.18, David R. Godine Publisher

  5 Copy quote

• Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.

  Will Cuppy

  Eruption, Would Be, Footnotes

  "Birds Who Can't Even Fly". "How to Attract the Wombat". Book by Will Cuppy, 1949.

  6 Copy quote

• Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

  Will Cuppy

  Silly, Thinking, Blood

  Will Cuppy (2008). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”, p.32, David R. Godine Publisher

  14 Copy quote

• A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.

  Will Cuppy

  Home, Cobras, Rats

  "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  12 Copy quote

• My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.

  Will Cuppy

  Philosophy, Four, Life Philosophy

  Will Cuppy (2008). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”, p.214, David R. Godine Publisher

  9 Copy quote

• An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?

  Will Cuppy

  Running, Hot, Ants

  "Insects for Everybody". "How to Attract the Wombat". Book by Will Cuppy, 1949.

  4 Copy quote

• They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.

  Will Cuppy

  People, Pilgrim, Freedom Of Thought

  Will Cuppy (1950). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”, p.213, David R. Godine Publisher

  7 Copy quote

• The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

  Will Cuppy

  Looks, Trouble, Dictionary

  Will Cuppy (1951). “How to Get from January to December”

  5 Copy quote

• Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

  Will Cuppy

  Facts, Baboons

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.29, David R. Godine Publisher

  10 Copy quote

• The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

  Will Cuppy

  Good Luck, Bees, Ancient

  "How to Attract the Wombat". Book by Will Cuppy, 1949.

  5 Copy quote

• The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.

  Will Cuppy

  Bird, Faithful, Cages

  27 Copy quote

• Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

  Will Cuppy

  Spring, Humor, Hay Fever

  Letter to Max Eastman, 1936.

  9 Copy quote

• Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

  Will Cuppy

  Marriage, Wedding, Home

  "The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody".

  8 Copy quote

• We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.

  Will Cuppy

  United States, Vipers, Common

  "The Common Viper". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  6 Copy quote

• The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

  Will Cuppy

  Fun, Hard Work, Stories

  Will Cuppy (1950). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”, p.216, David R. Godine Publisher

  5 Copy quote

• Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

  Will Cuppy

  Mean, Essentials, Littles

  Will Cuppy (1929). “How to be a Hermit: Or, A Bachelor Keeps House”, Castrovilli Giuseppe

  10 Copy quote

• The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.

  Will Cuppy

  Men, Ideas, Stories

  "The Pike". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  4 Copy quote

• I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.

  Will Cuppy

  Oil, Helping, Help Me

  Will Cuppy (1929). “How to be a Hermit: Or, A Bachelor Keeps House”, Castrovilli Giuseppe

  7 Copy quote

• Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

  Will Cuppy

  Live And Learn, Wells

  "The Hermit's Emergency Shelf". "How to Be a Hermit or a Bachelor Keeps House". Book by Will Cuppy, 1929.

  4 Copy quote

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