Will Cuppy Quotes - Page 3

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• Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty species, most of them deadly, and Europe has only five or six, none of them much good. We have fifteen kinds of Rattlesnakes alone and nobody else has even one. [Footnote: There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from here.]

  Will Cuppy

  Country, Europe, Snakes

  "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  54 Copy quote

• The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.

  Will Cuppy

  Faces, Baboons, Chameleon

  "The Chameleon". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  58 Copy quote

• To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.

  Will Cuppy

  Eye, Sparrows, Life Is

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.93, David R. Godine Publisher

  15 Copy quote

• [Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.

  Will Cuppy

  Space, Long, Four

  "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  4 Copy quote

• Male penguins are unfaithful up to an advanced age, a phenomenon sometimes attributed to the sea air.

  Will Cuppy

  Air, Sea, Age

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.88, David R. Godine Publisher

  6 Copy quote

• Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

  Will Cuppy

  Science, Owning A Pet, Adorable

  "How to Get from January to December". Book by Will Cuppy, 1951.

  61 Copy quote

• Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.

  Will Cuppy

  Looks, Orangutans, Apes

  63 Copy quote

• If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.

  Will Cuppy

  Play, Snakes, Clubs

  "The Hog-Nosed Snake". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  6 Copy quote

• The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.

  Will Cuppy

  Years, Bird, Wrens

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.43, David R. Godine Publisher

  8 Copy quote

• [Footnote:] Pliny the Elder described a Whale called "Balaena or Whirlpool, which is so long and broad as to take up more in length and breadth than two acres of ground." This brings up again the old question: Are the classics doomed? Our ancestors believed that four years of this sort of information would inevitably produce a President, or at least a Cabinet Member. It didn't seem to work out that way.

  Will Cuppy

  Years, Whales, Two

  "The Whale". "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  4 Copy quote

• [Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.

  Will Cuppy

  Believe, Hard Work, Giving

  "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  10 Copy quote

• Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

  Will Cuppy

  Marriage, Strong, Wife

  Will Cuppy (1950). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”

  5 Copy quote

• The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.

  Will Cuppy

  Animal, Blood, Sloth

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  5 Copy quote

• I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.

  Will Cuppy

  Widows And Orphans, Debt, Pay

  "I'm Not the Budget Type". Scribner's Magazine CII (6), p. 19-21, 1937.

  7 Copy quote

• Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

  Will Cuppy

  Mistake, Ideas, Honor

  Will Cuppy (1951). “How to Get from January to December”

  5 Copy quote

• Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.

  Will Cuppy

  Sex, Eye, Hummingbirds

  "The Hummingbird". "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  9 Copy quote

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