Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing.

  Groucho Marx

  Beautiful, Bed, Gone

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  14 Copy quote

• TV is the rat race of the century.

  Groucho Marx

  Race, Rats, Tvs

  8 Copy quote

• It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Cousin

  10 Copy quote

• There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement.

  Groucho Marx

  Cities, Chicago, Needs

  14 Copy quote

• You're only as young as the woman you feel.

  Groucho Marx

  Young, Feels

  4 Copy quote

• I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

  Groucho Marx

  People, Clubs, Pay

  5 Copy quote

• This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

  Groucho Marx

  Children, Stupidity, Parent

  17 Copy quote

• I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

  Groucho Marx

  Educational, Book, Library

  11 Copy quote

• I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Sex

  Quoted in Max Wilk, The Wit and Wisdom of Hollywood (1972)

  5 Copy quote

• Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Jail, Advancement

  "Fictional character: Hammer". "The Cocoanuts", www.imdb.com. 1929.

  4 Copy quote

• If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Inspiration, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  18 Copy quote

• Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humor, Two

  9 Copy quote

• Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Hands, Wish

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  8 Copy quote

• Home is where you hang your head.

  Groucho Marx

  Home, Architecture, Sweet Home

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.40, Da Capo Press

  13 Copy quote

• Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Hands, Water

  "Fictional character:". "Animal Crackers", www.imdb.com. 1930.

  22 Copy quote

• I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Hate, Rain

  15 Copy quote

• You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration

  "Fictional character: S. Quentin Quale". "Go West", 1940.

  9 Copy quote

• Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Crazy

  5 Copy quote

• In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

  Groucho Marx

  Wedding, Hollywood, Bouquets

  17 Copy quote

• I hate London when it's not raining.

  Groucho Marx

  Travel, Hate, Rain

  "Whatever happened to ... the national water grid?" by Iain Hollingshead, www.theguardian.com. April 14, 2006.

  10 Copy quote

• Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

  Groucho Marx

  Precious Stones, Comedian, Gold

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.69, Da Capo Press

  5 Copy quote

• I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

  Groucho Marx

  Book, Giving, Nine

  8 Copy quote

• I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for a living. It?s arduous work and the money is very uncertain. On those rare occasions when I wander into a bookstore it amazes me to see the avalanche of literature and semi-literature that is turned out weekly in this country. The people who write these things are either desperate for money or love starved. Why should anyone on a nice balmy day lock oneself in an office and hit a typewriter for hours on end. I think one of the greatest pleasures in the world is not writing.

  Groucho Marx

  Country, Nice, Writing

  6 Copy quote

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