Red Skelton Quotes

Quotes about:

• There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

  Red Skelton

  Memories, Humorous, Loss

  59 Copy quote

• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Divorce, Names

  53 Copy quote

• Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

  Red Skelton

  Mind, Age, Old Age

  50 Copy quote

• I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

  Red Skelton

  Believe, People, Purpose

  63 Copy quote

• Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

  Red Skelton

  Happiness, Laughter, Sadness

  75 Copy quote

• All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

  Red Skelton

  Inspirational, Marriage, Mistake

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  79 Copy quote

• If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

  Red Skelton

  Smile, Silly, Heart

  73 Copy quote

• Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

  Red Skelton

  Funny, Running, Laughter

  85 Copy quote

• People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.

  Red Skelton

  Morning, Flower, Thinking

  53 Copy quote

• I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.

  Red Skelton

  Hate, Enemy, Ems

  10 Copy quote

• My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

  Red Skelton

  Doctors, Dollars, Looks

  33 Copy quote

• Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

  Red Skelton

  Letting Go, Hands, Wife

  9 Copy quote

• I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

  Red Skelton

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

  33 Copy quote

• No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

  Red Skelton

  Happiness, Laughter, Heartache

  17 Copy quote

• I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

  Red Skelton

  Looks, Half, Weight

  16 Copy quote

• Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

  Red Skelton

  Thinking, People, Laughing

  43 Copy quote

• I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin

  Red Skelton

  Drinking, Guy, Next

  37 Copy quote

• Congress: Bingo with billions.

  Red Skelton

  Bingo, Congress, Billions

  31 Copy quote

• She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off

  Red Skelton

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

  32 Copy quote

• A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

  Red Skelton

  School, Successful, Three

  9 Copy quote

• I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.

  Red Skelton

  Vanity, Glasses, Curiosity

  33 Copy quote

• I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

  Red Skelton

  Believe

  45 Copy quote

• Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

  Red Skelton

  Character, Television, Rooms

  30 Copy quote

• I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

  Red Skelton

  Friendship, Exercise, Coffins

  5 Copy quote

• Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

  Red Skelton

  Happiness, Spring, Taken

  30 Copy quote

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