Red Skelton Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

  Red Skelton

  Thinking, People, Laughing

  50 Copy quote

• Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Divorce, Numbers

  15 Copy quote

• Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

  Red Skelton

  Happiness, Spring, Taken

  35 Copy quote

• She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

  Red Skelton

  Funny, Humor, Bread

  14 Copy quote

• I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

  Red Skelton

  Nuts, Long, Laughing

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  26 Copy quote

• We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Sleep, Texas

  15 Copy quote

• I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

  Red Skelton

  Friendship, Exercise, Coffins

  11 Copy quote

• Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.

  Red Skelton

  Flattery, Imitation, Plagiarism

  8 Copy quote

• If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

  Red Skelton

  People, Age, Purpose

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  25 Copy quote

• I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.

  Red Skelton

  Life And Death, Mind, Dying

  9 Copy quote

• I'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people-even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't meet one particular guy, a clown named Joe Skelton. You know, he sure picked the right profession. I mean, a clown's got it all. He never has to hold back: He can do as he pleases. The mouth and the eyes are painted on. So if you wanta cry, you can go right ahead. The make up won't smear. You'll still be smiling. . . .

  Red Skelton

  Hurt, Sorry, Pain

  11 Copy quote

• When anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese sand garden and drink iced tea. There are five stone in the garden - for sky, wind, fire, water, and earth. We sit and think of five of the nicest things we can about the person who hurt us. If he hurts us a second time, we do the same thing. The third time, we light a candle, and he is, for us, dead.

  Red Skelton

  Hurt, Garden, Thinking

  9 Copy quote

• You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

  Red Skelton

  Birthday, Mind, Age

  13 Copy quote

• You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

  Red Skelton

  Night, Lasts, Firsts

  12 Copy quote

• I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

  Red Skelton

  Mean, People, Laughing

  "Red Skelton, the sentimental clown, dies at 84". CNN, September 17, 1997.

  26 Copy quote

• God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

  Red Skelton

  Happiness, Children, Reason

  37 Copy quote

• Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

  Red Skelton

  Laughter, Sadness, Unhappy

  10 Copy quote

• I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.

  Red Skelton

  Making Money, Sixth Sense, Five

  11 Copy quote

• Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?

  Red Skelton

  Prayer, School, Would Be

  21 Copy quote

• I only come to life when there are people watching.

  Red Skelton

  People

  9 Copy quote

• I left home because I was hungry.

  Red Skelton

  Home, Hungry, Left

  8 Copy quote

• Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

  Red Skelton

  Running, Exercise, Golf

  60 Copy quote

• I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

  Red Skelton

  Television, Fireplaces, Whole Family

  8 Copy quote

• Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

  Red Skelton

  Mom, Running, Home

  5 Copy quote

• It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.

  Red Skelton

  Giving, Want, Prove

  5 Copy quote

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