Comedy Quotes - Page 5

• I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Different

  7 Copy quote

• We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

  24 Copy quote

• Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

  Marty Feldman

  Funny, Humor, Unnatural

  The Times, June 9, 1969.

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• I have an Italian comedy at the Venice Film Festival.

  Robert Englund

  Italian, Venice, Festivals

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Baby, Funny Life, Mistake

  "German schoolkids perform adorably chilling Kraftwerk cover" by Joe Blevins, www.avclub.com. March 30, 2015.

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• My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

  Adam Sandler

  Different, Hell, Knows

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• A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

  Jerry Lewis

  Baby, Thinking, Machines

  "Hey Laaaady: Jerry Lewis Isn't Laughing". www.cbsnews.com. February 14, 2000.

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• He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Smile, Taught

  8 Copy quote

• My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

  Eric Morecambe

  Clever, Garden, Long

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me.

  Paul Putner

  Real, Fans, Might

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• Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

  Dennis Miller

  Funny, Humor, Ideas

  9 Copy quote

• Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.

  Trey Parker

  Realizing, Turds, Jerry

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• I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "75 Funniest Jokes of All Time". "GQ Magazine", June 1999.

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• Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.

  Wanda Sykes

  People, Tvs, Deals

  Interview with Keith Phipps, www.avclub.com. October 20, 2004.

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• My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

  Emo Philips

  Love, Funny, Humor

  87 Copy quote

• Good comedy is ageless.

  Ted Levine

  Ageless

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• I think comedy is more my instinct and more what I'm geared towards.

  Austin Peck

  Thinking, Instinct

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• The perception of the comic is a tie of sympathy with other men, a pledge of sanity, and a protection from those perverse tendencies and gloomy insanities in which fine intellects sometimes lose themselves. A rogue alive to the ludicrous is still convertible. If that sense is lost, his fellow-men can do little for him.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Men, Ties, Insanity

  1876 Letters and Social Aims,'The Comic'.

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• The basis of tragedy is man's helplessness against disease, war and death; the basis of comedy is man's helplessness against vanity (the vanity of love, greed, lust, power).

  Dawn Powell

  War, Men, Vanity

  Dawn Powell (1998). “The Diaries of Dawn Powell: 1931-1965”, Zoland Books

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• I was drafted and went to Korea where I had an opportunity to create a production team that did dramatic and comedy shows. I had also done a little disc jockeying.

  Casey Kasem

  Team, Opportunity, Korea

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• I consider myself a serious musician. Doing a comedy show does not take away from that in any way.

  Kevin Eubanks

  Aggravation, Musician, Doe

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• I got everybody on my side through comedy.

  Ruth Buzzi

  Sides

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• You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

  Bud Abbott

  Teamwork, Fighting, Heard

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I would say that fifty percent of my show is killer comedy.

  Davy Jones

  Fifty, Killers, Shows

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• When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy.

  Matt Lucas

  Teenager, School, Angst

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