Stand Up Comedian Quotes

• Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

  Patton Oswalt

  Hate, Meals, Delicious Food

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• Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

  Jim Butcher

  Laughter, Laughing, Stupidity

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• The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizing personalities. Their observational skills are far greater than mine, so I'll just stick to reading lines off a page.

  Kunal Nayyar

  Reading, Skills, Personality

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

  Camille Paglia

  Jesus, Comedian, Brilliant

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• And what is the reaction of the British politcal class? Well the Lib Dems, still think that the Euro is a success! I don't quiet think where Cleggy gets this from, I don't know. Prehaps he is cosidering an alternative career, as a stand up comedian, once he's out of politics.

  Nigel Farage

  Thinking, Class, Careers

  7 Copy quote

• I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

  Wendy Liebman

  Teacher, Class, People

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• I usually just say I'm a stand-up comedian, but I use looping machines to create ideas with my voice.

  Reggie Watts

  Ideas, Voice, Comedian

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Conclusions are based in time. We live in time. So any definition of success is bound up with time. With other things you can say, "Can I yo-yo? Can I juggle?" Usually you have a pretty small window in which to get your answer. Stand-up is different. You can't do stand-up for one night and say, "Am I a funny stand-up comedian?" In two months or two years you'll start to realize it.

  Demetri Martin

  Night, Years, Two

  Interview with Litsa Dremousis, www.believermag.com. February 2006.

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• It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.

  Rachel Weisz

  Sexy, Interesting, Risk

  Interview with Emma Forrest, www.indexmagazine.com. 2001.

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• Canada has been a breeding ground for great comedic actors, sketch artists and stand-up comedians. We grew up with a different perspective on the world.

  Harland Williams

  Artist, Perspective, Comedian

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• When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Writing, Humor

  9 Copy quote

• I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Comedian, Roles, Actors

  4 Copy quote

• A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think.

  Stephan Pastis

  Writing, Thinking, People

  4 Copy quote

• I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.

  Steve Harvey

  Husband, Father, Pride

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• You work with stand-up comedians or you work with somebody in theater, you work with somebody from Star Search or Survivor or a kid, it constantly changes how you play with people.

  Steve Zahn

  Stars, Kids, Play

  Interview with Steven Horn, www.ign.com. May 6, 2003.

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• I was influenced by a lot of stand-up comedians... Eddie Murphy back when he was doing 'Raw.' I watched that so many times as a kid, I can probably still quote the entire thing to this day. Chris Rock. Dave Chappelle. George Carlin. A lot of the guys who were sort of edgy for their time.

  Ray William Johnson

  Kids, Rocks, Guy

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I spent 25 years as a stand-up comedian.

  Steven Michael Quezada

  Years, Comedian

  "'Breaking Bad's' Gomez on 'Ozymandias': At Least 'I Didn't Get Melted in Acid' (Q&A)". Interview with Aaron Couch, www.hollywoodreporter.com. September 16, 2013.

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• I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company, and they sent me a rejection letter! I wasn't smart enough at the time to realize you shouldn't let rejection letters stop you. I thought that rejection letter meant I was not allowed to be a cartoonist in this world, so I put the rejection letter down and said, well, I'll be a stand-up comedian.

  Brian Regan

  Smart, Rejection, Comedian

  Source: www.citypaper.com

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• I was a stand-up comedian for 10 years, if you can believe it. And I gave it up at age 22.

  Samm Levine

  Believe, Years, Comedian

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• If you want to be a stand-up comedian or an artist, you move to New York.

  T. J. Miller

  New York, Moving, Artist

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Creative, Comedian

  "Jim Gaffigan Talks to Brian Regan About Hating Being Called a 'Clean' Comedian, Resisting Hollywood, and Playing Big Venues". Interview with Jim Gaffigan, www.vulture.com. September 23, 2015.

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• In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own show - no one casts you. You cast your own show as a stand-up comedian. When you get good at stand-up comedy you book a theater and if people show up, people show up. If people don't show up, people don't show up. You don't have a director or a casting agent or anybody saying if you're good enough - the audience will decide.

  Jim Jefferies

  Book, People, Comedian

  Source: www.portlandmercury.com

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• I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than Jesus, so I reckon I could go on after him.

  Jim Jefferies

  Jesus, Blessed, Bullshit

  Source: manofmany.com

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• A stand-up comedian will never be the life of a party. Instead, he will be the guy who is standing at a corner and observing people.

  Vir Das

  Party, People, Guy

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• Ive been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

  Diane Neal

  Silly, Years, Comedian

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