Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

Quotes about:

• If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Inspirational, Motivational, Running

  "Readers recommend: songs about games" by Peter Kimpton, www.theguardian.com. January 15, 2015.

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• Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Christian, People, Church

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• Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Google

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• I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Self, Determined, Pompous

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• Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Somewhere Else, Host, Internet

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• I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Mind, Cardigans, Being Cool

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• Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Israel, People, Bully

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• This goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: To the Jews, Christians, and Muslims. It's just a little thing, really. But do you think that when you're done smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privileges while you're at it... do you think the rest of us could have our planet back?

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Christian, Thinking, Special

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• All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Men, Interesting, Trying

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• Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Important, Care, Dull

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Political, Important, Might

  "Of political correctness and referendums" by Marcus Brigstocke, www.theguardian.com. May 23, 2005.

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• No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Want, Lasts, Enough

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• The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Successful, Hardest

  "Portrait of the artist: Marcus Brigstocke, comedian". Interview with Laura Barnett, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2007.

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• I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  School, Personality, Childhood

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• You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Children, Hug, Fats

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• I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Ideas, Feelings, Style

  "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.

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• If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Agendas, Goes On, Accepting

  "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.

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• I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  People, Unhappiness, Compare

  "Portrait of the artist: Marcus Brigstocke, comedian". Interview with Laura Barnett, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2007.

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• The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Jobs, Stupid, Simple

  "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.

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• Jim Henson was an absolute genius.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Genius, Absolutes

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• I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Hate, Airports, Minutes

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• I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Comedian, Roles, Actors

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• I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Thinking, People, Storm

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• There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Thinking, Comedy, Kind

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

  Marcus Brigstocke

  Nuts, Allergies, Exposure

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