Frankie Boyle Quotes

Quotes about:

• People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Sex, Heart

  15 Copy quote

• Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Play

  "Frankie Boyle Live", 2008.

  22 Copy quote

• Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

  Frankie Boyle

  Gay, People, Political

  14 Copy quote

• We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.

  Frankie Boyle

  Reality, People, Understanding

  34 Copy quote

• I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Frankie Boyle Live". Comedy, 2008.

  13 Copy quote

• Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

  Frankie Boyle

  Country, Years, America

  36 Copy quote

• For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.

  Frankie Boyle

  Hands, Scotland, Giving

  TV Series "Mock the Week", (2005- ).

  52 Copy quote

• Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, People

  13 Copy quote

• I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Surround Sound

  17 Copy quote

• The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Sexy, Dirty

  15 Copy quote

• The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Scotland

  22 Copy quote

• Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Wall, Humor

  16 Copy quote

• I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.

  Frankie Boyle

  Sorry, Mean, Fighting

  26 Copy quote

• On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Night

  21 Copy quote

• When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Sex, School

  12 Copy quote

• I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.

  Frankie Boyle

  Dad, School, Kids

  8 Copy quote

• They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Ejaculation

  18 Copy quote

• As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Airports

  27 Copy quote

• They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Boys

  4 Copy quote

• It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

  6 Copy quote

• What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Wall, Humor

  20 Copy quote

• In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Oxygen

  19 Copy quote

• I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Bored

  9 Copy quote

• If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Teenage, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Congratulations, Humor

  7 Copy quote

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