Frankie Boyle Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

• I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Frankie Boyle Live". Comedy, 2008.

• It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Navy

• The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Loss

  "Mock the Week". www.imdb.com. (2005 - ).

• On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Night

• A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Baby, Fall

• What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Wall, Humor

• Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Play

  "Frankie Boyle Live", 2008.

• Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Boys

• Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Mock the Week". Game-Show, m.imdb.com.

• Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Congratulations, Humor

• The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Scotland

• Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, People

• I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Dad, Kids

• As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Airports

• RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, New York, Humor

• Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Wall, Humor

• Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, London

• In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Oxygen

• The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Average Life

• When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Cristiano Ronaldo

• Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, White

• That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Mock the Week". Comedy, Game-Show, (2005– ).

• Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Night

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