I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.
What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for me. I don't want to do things on the Internet.
I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.
There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.
I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.
My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.
I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.
I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.
As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.
I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.
Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable.
I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.
I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at.
I don't think I'm successful.
I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.
I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.
I have a very solo career. I only write with people that I really adore.
My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!
Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.
I am best viewed from a distance.
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
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