I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.
I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.
I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.
I am best viewed from a distance.
My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!
I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.
I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.
I have a very solo career. I only write with people that I really adore.
As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.
I can't tan naturally.
I can't stand folk who are all snobby about reality TV.
I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.
I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.
Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable.
My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.
There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
For me, being a woman suits what I want to talk about and what my audience wants to hear. Maybe I'm a dying breed.
I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect.
Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.
I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.
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