A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.
I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.
I am really bad at actually interviewing people.
I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.
In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints
I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.
Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!
I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.'
All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.
A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.
I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.
I don't think anyone wants to be gay.
The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.
Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.
Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.
I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.
You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.
I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.
My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.
I am very quick to judge.
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