The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.
I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face
I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet.
My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!
Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
For me, being a woman suits what I want to talk about and what my audience wants to hear. Maybe I'm a dying breed.
I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect.
I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.
I can't stand folk who are all snobby about reality TV.
I can't tan naturally.
I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.
I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.
I have a very solo career. I only write with people that I really adore.
I don't think I'm successful.
I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.
The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You'll then be pleasantly surprised.
People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.
I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh.
I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles - they are both barristers.
I've never been prudish.
I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite.
Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.
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