People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.
When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.
Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?
The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.
I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved.
Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.
I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.
People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.
People always say to me, Youre really attractive - in an unusual way. No one ever just says, Youre attractive.
Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.
I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?'
When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.
My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.
Everybody has their own style. If you went to the movies every week and everybody acted the same way Tom Cruise did, boy, wouldn't that suck?
Comics don't like to see other comics do well.
I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.
I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.
Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.
I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics.
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
The blessing is that everyone knows who I am because of the commercials.
There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans.
I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
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