A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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