A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
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