To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
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