To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.
A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.
True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.
A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.
A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
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