High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
I hate women because they always know where things are.
A woman should soften but not weaken a man.
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.
Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
If God made anything better than women, I think he kept it for himself.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends