Funny Women Quotes - Page 2

• If God made anything better than women, I think he kept it for himself.

  Kris Kristofferson

  God, Wedding, Women

  "Kris Kristofferson: What I've Learned" by Scott Carrier, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.

  Brian Wilson

  Sex, Reason, Operations

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• Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace.

  Don Herold

  Funny, Women, Giving

  "Bigger & better".

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• What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.22, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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  Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

  Joseph Conrad

  Funny, Hilarious, Strong Women

  109 Copy quote

• I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

  Jay McInerney

  Love, Life, Witty

  Twitter post from Jan 09, 2013

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• A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

  Carrie Snow

  Inspiring, Women, Glowing

  112 Copy quote

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

  Lana Turner

  Funny, Success, Hilarious

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• Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Funny, Sex, Women

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• I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.

  Stanley Baldwin

  Trust, Sisterhood, Men

  "Brain Box". Book by Charles Phillips, p. 110, 2006.

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• I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Sex, Women

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• Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

  Alfred Lord Tennyson

  Funny, Women, Heaven

  Alfred, Lord Tennyson (2012). “Idylls of the King”, p.133, Courier Corporation

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• Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Women, Thinking

  'As You Like It' (1599) act 3, sc. 2, l. [265]

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• All pretty girls are a trap, a pretty trap, and men expect them to be.

  Tennessee Williams

  Funny, Girl, Hilarious

  Tennessee Williams (1945). “The Glass Menagerie”, p.52, New Directions Publishing

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• To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Funny, Girl, Women

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

  Oliver Herford

  Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter

  265 Copy quote

• The men liked to put me down as the best woman painter. I think I'm one of the best painters.

  Georgia O'Keeffe

  Funny, Women, Thinking

  Quoted in WChadwick Women, Art and Society (1990).

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• Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

  George Carlin

  Love, Funny, Cute Relationship

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• Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Laughter

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• When women go wrong, men go right after them.

  Mae West

  Funny, Women, Memorable

  She Done Him Wrong (motion picture) (1933)

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• A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Funny, Husband, Women

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.33, BookBaby

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• I've always loved independent women, outspoken women, eccentric women, funny women, flawed women. When someone says about a woman, 'I'm sorry, that's just wrong,' I tend to think she must be doing something right.

  Diane Keaton

  Sorry, Independent, Thinking

  Diane Keaton (2014). “Let's Just Say It Wasn't Pretty”, p.5, Random House

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• Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

  James Thurber

  Funny, Witty, Maturity

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  There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

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• Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.

  Audrey Hepburn

  Inspiring, Wedding, Nice

  110 Copy quote