It's like my father always said to me, he said to me, he said, Roseanna Roseanadana, it's always something. If it isn't one thing--it's another! It's always something.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
There are those who open their hearts to others...who never think twice about giving of themselves. They are the wonderful warmhearted people who make all the difference in our lives.
I've learned what I can control is whether I am going to live a day in fear and depression and panic, or whether I am going to attack the day and make it as good a day, as wonderful a day, as I can.
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
... every time I got disappointed I'd remember the Roseannadanna philosophy that says that you shouldn't cry over split milk 'cause if you spill some milk and instead of cleaning it up you just walk over it and start crying, they're gonna put you on lithium.
There is no real security except for whatever you build inside yourself.
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary-it's an act of infinite optimism.
Humor is just truth, only faster!
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.
Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what's important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner used to say, 'If it wasn't for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.' That's true. If it wasn't for the downside.
I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.
Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.
Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.
Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.
Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily.
[Roseanne Roseannadanna line:] It's always something.
The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have lived.
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.
I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.
It's such an act of optimism to get through a day and enjoy it and laugh and do all that without thinking about death. What spirit human beings have!
Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.
I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.
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