I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
I am a clown, just without the painted smile.
How much do I owe you?
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.
Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.
Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.
Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.
It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.
I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.
The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
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