A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
A fool and her money are soon courted.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
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