We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
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