If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.
Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.
Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed...We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
Do you still throw spears at each other?
I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist. I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer.
Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.
If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.
My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work.
[after accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman] You are a woman, aren't you?
Constitutionally I don't exist.
That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?
I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.
The conservation of nature, the proper care for the human environment and a general concern for the long-term future of the whole of our planet are absolutely vital if future generations are to have a chance to enjoy their existence on this earth.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
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