A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
The bastards murdered half my family.
If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.
It's no use saying do this, do that, don't do that ... it's very easy when children want something to say no immediately. I think it's quite important not to give an unequivocal answer at once. Much better to think it over. Then, if you eventually say no, I think they really accept it.
Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.
You're not wearing mink knickers,are you?
There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.
British women can't cook.
Tolerance is the one essential ingredient ... You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.
You have mosquitoes. I have the Press.
You could do with losing a little bit of weight.
Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.
Do you work in a strip club?
I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.
Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.
Books are certainly old fashioned, but only people with a very limited perception are silly enough to condemn ideas because of their age. It is, of course, equally silly to condemn the new fangled simply because it is strange.
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