If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.
I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.
If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs, it's just possible that you haven't grasped the situation.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
Don't be silly. I'm a mature, intelligent woman. Of course I'm afraid of my mother.
I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.
I will read anything rather than work.
Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review, it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism, does he write "I had a fun time"? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing.
To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
Children are different - mentally, physically, spiritually, quantitatively, qualitatively; and furthermore, they're all a little bit nuts.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
Real men don't do pickup lines just to sweep off every girls' feet. They do and trust their own instincts knowing what the girls' wants and needs. Vying to win their hearts.
I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.
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