Sam Kinison Quotes

Quotes about:

• I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

  Sam Kinison

  Marriage, Wedding Anniversary, Years

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  100 Copy quote

• It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

  Sam Kinison

  Moving, People, World

  48 Copy quote

• There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!"

  Sam Kinison

  Christian, Jesus, Pliers

  HBO Special, 1985.

  59 Copy quote

• I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

  Sam Kinison

  Funny, Three, Cost

  66 Copy quote

• The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

  Sam Kinison

  Moon, Space, Pussy

  "Live from Hell", 1993.

  38 Copy quote

• There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

  Sam Kinison

  Funny, Running, Jail

  64 Copy quote

• How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

  Sam Kinison

  Guy, Finding Love, Doe

  "HBO Special", 1985.

  41 Copy quote

• Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

  Sam Kinison

  Attitude, Voice, Generations

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  55 Copy quote

• Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

  Sam Kinison

  Real, Thinking, People

  46 Copy quote

• If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

  Sam Kinison

  Funny Marriage, Guy, Want

  45 Copy quote

• Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

  Sam Kinison

  Role Models, Roles, Youth

  57 Copy quote

• Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

  Sam Kinison

  Folks, Seventeen

  35 Copy quote

• I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

  Sam Kinison

  Views, Two, Missing

  52 Copy quote

• I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!

  Sam Kinison

  Sweet, Hurt, Pain

  49 Copy quote

• Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

  Sam Kinison

  Mad, Justified, Rage

  30 Copy quote

• My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

  Sam Kinison

  Views, Two, Missing

  13 Copy quote

• With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

  Sam Kinison

  People, Fans, Hey

  14 Copy quote

• I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.

  Sam Kinison

  Jesus, Rocks, Order

  9 Copy quote

• Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

  Sam Kinison

  Jesus, Water, Heaven

  7 Copy quote

• Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

  Sam Kinison

  Creative, Alphabet, Remember

  "HBO Special", 1985.

  39 Copy quote

• Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!

  Sam Kinison

  Jesus, Guy, Scare

  9 Copy quote

• Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

  Sam Kinison

  Christian, Rocks, Names

  34 Copy quote

• You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?

  Sam Kinison

  Falling In Love, Believe, Love You

  30 Copy quote

• Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.

  Sam Kinison

  Able, Faces, Tough

  "Have You Seen Me Lately?". "Parties With the Dead", 1988.

  30 Copy quote

• If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.

  Sam Kinison

  Lying, Together, Telling The Truth

  4 Copy quote

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