Funny Marriage Quotes - Page 9

• Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Boyfriend, Valentines Day

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 2, sc. 2, l. [115]

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• I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.

  Dave Barry

  Believe, Passion, Flames

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

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• If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.

  Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

  Men, Interesting, Married

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• When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

  William Shakespeare

  Marriage, Thinking, Married

  'Much Ado About Nothing' (1598-9) act 2, sc. 3, l. [262]

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• Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!

  Robert Browning

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "Rabbi Ben Ezra" l. 1 (1864)

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• And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.

  Dodie Smith

  Hate, Men, Earth

  Dodie Smith (2017). “I Capture the Castle: Young Adult Edition”, p.149, St. Martin's Griffin

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• Never forget the nine most important words of any family- I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me.

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  Beautiful, Forgiveness, Sorry

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• Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Marriage, Process, Prolonging

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• Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Depression, Husband

  'The Tempest' (1611) act 2, sc. 2, l. [42]

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• Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life.

  David Niven

  Mistake, Tomorrow, Married

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• There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'

  William Cosmo Monkhouse

  Men, Wife, Three

  "There Once Was an Old Man of Lyme" l. 1 (date unknown)

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• One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.

  Bernard Malamud

  Return, Fantasy, Brides

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• If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

  Marty Allen

  Marriage, Girl, Horse

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• Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn't be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he's the person I want to strain with.

  Patricia Arquette

  Thinking, Want, Persons

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• You have no idea of the women I didn't marry.

  Artie Shaw

  Ideas, No Idea

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I have trouble saying hu ... hu ... husband.

  Rosanna Arquette

  Husband, Trouble

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• The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

  Kin Hubbard

  Wife, Fellows, Only Time

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• Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Pay, Investment, Interest

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• There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

  Helen Rowland

  Marriage, Humorous, Food

  Helen Rowland (2017). “A Guide to Men: Being Encore Reflections of a Bachelor Girl”, p.22, Litres

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• I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Voice, Wife, Musical

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• The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.

  A. P. Herbert

  Marriage, Time, Breakfast

  Uncommon Law (1935) "Is Marriage Lawful?"

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• It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife !

  Akbar

  Men, Wife, Ordinary

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• My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Cutting, Two, Wife

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• Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much...
  ...Monogamy ? It's the same.

  Oscar Wilde

  Wife, Too Much, Monogamy

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• I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry.

  Brendan Behan

  Thinking, Funeral, Cry

  Brendan Behan (2014). “Behan Complete Plays”, p.252, Bloomsbury Publishing

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