An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.
Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
I always advise people never to give advice.
As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'
Well, why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good square look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
the supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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