P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

Quotes about:

• I always advise people never to give advice.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Inspirational, Humorous, People

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.91, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  61 Copy quote

• An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Funny, Humor, Doctors

  20 Copy quote

• One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life Is, Telling The Truth, Moments

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Hot Water”, p.248, Random House

  44 Copy quote

• As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Real, People, Giving

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “Something New: Or, Something Fresh”, p.220, The Floating Press

  56 Copy quote

• One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Names, Mind, Age

  P. G. Wodehouse (2004). “The Clicking of Cuthbert”, p.169, 1st World Publishing

  26 Copy quote

• I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Light, Strive, Sweetness

  16 Copy quote

• Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Mind, Soup, Poor

  24 Copy quote

• It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Hunting, Ideas

  "Ring for Jeeves". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1953.

  51 Copy quote

• Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fun, Illegal, Fattening

  P. G. Wodehouse (1994). “The Theatre Omnibus”, Hutchinson Radius

  39 Copy quote

• It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Book, Writing, Apology

  "The Girl in Blue". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1970.

  35 Copy quote

• Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Drinking, Alcohol, Cooking

  12 Copy quote

• He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Inspirational, People, Intelligence

  11 Copy quote

• There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Friendship, Beautiful, Reading

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “The Most Of P.G. Wodehouse”, p.247, Simon and Schuster

  66 Copy quote

• At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Women, Difficult Situations, Age

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Uneasy Money: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.349, ReadHowYouWant.com

  35 Copy quote

• A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Depression, Men, Melancholy

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “The Man Upstairs: And Other Stories”, p.126, The Floating Press

  45 Copy quote

• He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Drunk, Cups, Looks

  13 Copy quote

• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Death, Sports, Humorous

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.35, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  61 Copy quote

• She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Women, Clothes, Jeeves

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  19 Copy quote

• Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Cat, Egypt, Class

  15 Copy quote

• The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Wrong Number, Voice

  P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The World of Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.569, Random House

  48 Copy quote

• Well, why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good square look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Taken, Squares, Careers

  34 Copy quote

• It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Sorry, Humorous

  The Man Upstairs (1914) title story

  13 Copy quote

• Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Boxing, Unseen

  P. G. Wodehouse, Donald R. Bensen (1985). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.262, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  25 Copy quote

• It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Use, Jeeves

  The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 2

  25 Copy quote

• I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Feelings, Fancy

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Wonderful Wodehouse 1: A Collection: The Inimitable Jeeves, Carry On Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves”, p.394, Random House

  14 Copy quote

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