P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 8

Quotes about:

• He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Long, Able

  7 Copy quote

• Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Divorce, Men, Class

  "Louder and Funnier". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1932.

  9 Copy quote

• However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Men, Choices

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1947.

  7 Copy quote

• Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Games

  4 Copy quote

• you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Feelings, Steps, Footsteps

  4 Copy quote

• ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Taken, Writing, School

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Politeness of Princes: And Other School Stories: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.117, ReadHowYouWant.com

  4 Copy quote

• No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Might, Found, Score

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Tales of St Austin's”, p.103, ReadHowYouWant.com

  4 Copy quote

• Hugo?’ ‘Millicent?’ ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes. Is that you?’ ‘Yes.’ Anything in the nature of misunderstanding was cleared away. It was both of them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Misunderstanding

  11 Copy quote

• Some time ago," he said, "--how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Young Friends, Names, Long

  P. G. Wodehouse (2013). “The Psmith Omnibus”, p.422, eBookIt.com

  6 Copy quote

• You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Humorous, Mean

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.10, Booklassic

  30 Copy quote

• "After all, golf is only a game", said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Character, Mean, Golf

  7 Copy quote

• Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Memories, Humorous, Food

  "The Theatre Omnibus".

  7 Copy quote

• A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Coffee, People, Lists

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.132, Courier Corporation

  8 Copy quote

• She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Children, Humorous, Ice Cream

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “The Most Of P.G. Wodehouse”, p.413, Simon and Schuster

  4 Copy quote

• ...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: "He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Tombstone, Simple, Men

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.75, Booklassic

  4 Copy quote

• I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hero, Noble, Stories

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Love Among the Chickens: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.425, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dancer

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P.G. Wodehouse, 1947.

  5 Copy quote

• In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dust, Romance, Occasional

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.49, Booklassic

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• I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Voice, Want, Jeeves

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.70, Booklassic

  7 Copy quote

• There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Stuff, Too Much

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “How Right You Are, Jeeves”, p.18, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Class, Community, Bishops

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Clicking of Cuthbert: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.1, ReadHowYouWant.com

  5 Copy quote

• He shimmered out, and I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Feelings, Bed, Sometimes

  4 Copy quote

• There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Sheep, Sailing, Sound

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1946.

  5 Copy quote

• His eyes were rolling in their sockets, and his face had taken on the colour and expression of a devout tomato. I could see he loved like a thousand bricks.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Love, Taken, Eye

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Joy in the Morning: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.26, Random House

  6 Copy quote

• I go in for what is known in the trade as 'light writing' and those who do that - humorists they are sometimes called - are looked down upon by the intelligentsia and sneered at.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Light, Sometimes

  4 Copy quote

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