P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 8

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• No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Might, Found, Score

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Tales of St Austin's”, p.103, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Marriage, Process, Prolonging

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• I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fall, Knives, Design

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• That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of your pockets.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Pockets, World, Want

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.50, Booklassic

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• I don't want to wrong anybody, so I won't go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature calculated to excite the liveliest of suspicions. Well, I mean to say, when a girl suddenly asks you out of a blue sky if you don't sometimes feel that the stars are God's daisy-chain, you begin to think a bit.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Stars, Mean

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.10, Booklassic

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• The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Degrees, Lasts, Facts

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Joy in the Morning: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.69, Random House

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• the ice was not only broken; it was shivered into a million fragments

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Ice, Broken, Fragments

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• He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Long, Able

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• She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Children, Humorous, Ice Cream

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “The Most Of P.G. Wodehouse”, p.413, Simon and Schuster

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• Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Divorce, Men, Class

  "Louder and Funnier". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1932.

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• Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Mirrors, Punishment, Glutton For Punishment

  P. G. Wodehouse (2008). “Right Ho, Jeeves (Volume 1 of 2) (EasyRead Super Large 20pt Edition)”, p.35, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• It's curious how, when you're in love, you yearn to go about doing acts of kindness to everybody.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Kindness, Love You, Acts Of Kindness

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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• However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Men, Choices

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1947.

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• Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Games

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• you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Feelings, Steps, Footsteps

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• ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Taken, Writing, School

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Politeness of Princes: And Other School Stories: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.117, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Some time ago," he said, "--how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Young Friends, Names, Long

  P. G. Wodehouse (2013). “The Psmith Omnibus”, p.422, eBookIt.com

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• Hugo?’ ‘Millicent?’ ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes. Is that you?’ ‘Yes.’ Anything in the nature of misunderstanding was cleared away. It was both of them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Misunderstanding

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• Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Memories, Humorous, Food

  "The Theatre Omnibus".

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• "After all, golf is only a game", said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Character, Mean, Golf

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• A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Coffee, People, Lists

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.132, Courier Corporation

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• It was one of the most disgusting spectacles I've ever seen-- this white-haired old man, who should have been thinking of the hereafter, standing there lying like an actor.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Lying, Thinking, Men

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.70, Courier Corporation

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• I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hero, Noble, Stories

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Love Among the Chickens: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.425, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dancer

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P.G. Wodehouse, 1947.

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• There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Stuff, Too Much

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “How Right You Are, Jeeves”, p.18, Simon and Schuster

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