I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
Employers are like horses — they require management.
Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
As a rule, from what I've observed, the American Captain of Industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a Captain of Industry again.
So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.
I expect I shall feel better after tea.
You probably think that being a guest in your aunt's house I would hesitate to butter you all over the front lawn and dance on the fragments in hobnailed boots, but you are mistaken. It would be a genuine pleasure. By an odd coincidence I brought a pair of hobnailed boots with me!' So saying, and recognising a good exit line when he saw one, he strode out, and after an interval of tense meditation I followed him. (Spode to Wooster)
I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la la' as I did the lathering for I was feeling in mid season form this morning.
Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.
I laughed derisively. "For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious." "I was laughing." "Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit." "Derisively," I explained.
The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start.
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.
Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious.
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
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