P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 12

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I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!

P. G. Wodehouse

Men, Thinking, May

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Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.

P. G. Wodehouse

Bored, Bird, Bottles

P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.5, Booklassic

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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.

P. G. Wodehouse

Funny, Humor, Comedy

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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

P. G. Wodehouse

Feelings, Sad Depressed, Policemen

"The Man Upstairs: And Other Stories".

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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.

P. G. Wodehouse

Wave, Bark, Stout

"Laughing Gas". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1936.

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Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.

P. G. Wodehouse

Classic, Hellhounds

'The Code of the Woosters' (1938) ch. 1

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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.

P. G. Wodehouse

Novelists, Spit

P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “The Most Of P.G. Wodehouse”, p.417, Simon and Schuster

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I shoved on a dressing-gown, and flew downstairs like a mighty, rushing wind.

P. G. Wodehouse

Wind, Rushing, Gowns

P. G. Wodehouse (1991). “The great sermon handicap”, James H. Heineman

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A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.

P. G. Wodehouse

Men, Medicine, Trying

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When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.

P. G. Wodehouse

Heart, Secret, Shrinking

P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The World of Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.272, Random House

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I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

P. G. Wodehouse

Hands, Unseen, Ifs

P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “How Right You Are, Jeeves”, p.12, Simon and Schuster

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Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.

P. G. Wodehouse

Dream, Missing, Rabbits

P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The Jeeves Omnibus - Vol 1: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.323, Random House

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I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.

P. G. Wodehouse

Bucks, Bunch, Brows

P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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When Cynthia smiles, said young Bingo, the skies are blue; the world takes on a roseate hue; birds in the garden trill and sing, and Joy is king of everything, when Cynthia smiles. He coughed, changing gears. When Cynthia frowns - What the devil are you talking about?I'm reading you my poem. The one I wrote to Cynthia last night. I'll go on, shall I?No!No?No. I haven't had my tea.

P. G. Wodehouse

Kings, Reading, Night

P. G. Wodehouse (1991). “The great sermon handicap”, James H. Heineman

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Say what you will, there is something fine about our old aristocracy. I'll bet Trotsky couldn't hit a moving secretary with an egg on a dark night.

P. G. Wodehouse

Moving, Dark, Night

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They pointed out that the friendship between the two artists had always been a byword or whatever you called it. A well-read Egg summed it up by saying that they were like Thingummy and what's-his-name.

P. G. Wodehouse

Names, Eggs, Two

"The Most Of P.G. Wodehouse".

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In your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.

P. G. Wodehouse

Powerful, Meaning Well, Looks

P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, Men, Perfect

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It is not mere technical skill that makes a man a golfer, it is the golfing soul.

P. G. Wodehouse

Men, Skills, Soul

P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.231, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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Golf is the Great Mystery.

P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, Mystery

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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

P. G. Wodehouse

Shrimp, Jeeves, Pity

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She's a sort of human vampire-bat

P. G. Wodehouse

Vampire, Bats, Humans

P. G. Wodehouse (2016). “Expecting Jeeves”, p.47, Courier Dover Publications

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Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.

P. G. Wodehouse

Blood, Careers, Sweat

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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.

P. G. Wodehouse

Crazy, Ifs

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Other men puffed, snorted, and splashed. George passed through the ocean with the silent dignity of a torpedo. Other men swallowed water, here a mouthful, there a pint, anon, maybe, a quart or so, and returned to the shore like foundering derelicts. George's mouth had all the exclusiveness of a fashionable club. His breast stroke was a thing to see and wonder at. When he did the crawl, strong men gasped. When he swam on his back, you felt that that was the only possible method of progression.

P. G. Wodehouse

Strong, Ocean, Men

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P. G. Wodehouse

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Born: October 15, 1881
Died: February 14, 1975
Occupation: Writer
Cite this Page: Citation

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