P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 5

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• If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Air, Selfish People

  12 Copy quote

• I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hangover, Broken, Machines

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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• I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Stories, Problem, Come Up

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.3, Booklassic

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• To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  New York, Heaven, Dying

  9 Copy quote

• She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Baby, Stars

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

  12 Copy quote

• I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Half

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Joy in the Morning: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.141, Random House

  9 Copy quote

• Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hair, Red, Opinion

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• I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Want

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• I believe the only way a writer can keep himself up to the mark is by examining each story quite coldly before he starts writing it and asking himself if it is all right as a story. I mean, once you go saying to yourself, 'This is a pretty weak plot as it stands, but I'm such a hell of a writer that my magic touch will make it okay,' you're sunk. If they aren't in interesting situations, characters can't be major characters, not even if you have the rest of the troop talk their heads off about them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Believe, Character, Mean

  8 Copy quote

• The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Character, Golf, Men

  P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “The Clicking of Cuthbert”, p.130, The Floating Press

  5 Copy quote

• If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Gentleman, Conversation, Endless

  6 Copy quote

• I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for it as he can, but that is a very different thing from writing for money.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Thinking, Different

  10 Copy quote

• I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a drowning man at a straw hat.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Tea, Littles

  P. G. Wodehouse (2010). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.53, The Floating Press

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• I was writing a story, 'The Artistic Career of Corky,' about two young men, Bertie Wooster and his friend Corky, getting into a lot of trouble, and neither of them had brains enough to get out of the trouble. I thought: Well, how can I get them out? And I thought: Suppose one of them had an omniscient valet?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Men, Careers

  7 Copy quote

• What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Names

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Clicking of Cuthbert: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.2, ReadHowYouWant.com

  4 Copy quote

• It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Games, Glorious

  P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “The Clicking of Cuthbert”, p.43, The Floating Press

  8 Copy quote

• Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Tea, Want, Hell

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.290, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  7 Copy quote

• Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Men, Done

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Uneasy Money: Easyread Comfort Edition”, p.236, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Two, Affair

  P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “Indiscretions of Archie”, p.43, The Floating Press

  4 Copy quote

• When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Love, Girl, Bombs

  "Summer Lightning". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1929.

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• That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of your pockets.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Pockets, World, Want

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.50, Booklassic

  4 Copy quote

• Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  League, Hot, Hey

  13 Copy quote

• Routine is the death to heroism.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Death, Heroism, Routine

  "The Man Upstairs". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1914.

  7 Copy quote

• He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Cousin, Animal, Air

  12 Copy quote

• Flowers are happy things.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Flower, Reality, Happy Things

  10 Copy quote

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