P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 2

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• Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Baby, Father, Sadness

  17 Copy quote

• It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Use, Jeeves

  The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 2

  27 Copy quote

• Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Cat, Egypt, Class

  17 Copy quote

• If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Mind, Would Be

  15 Copy quote

• A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Depression, Men, Melancholy

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “The Man Upstairs: And Other Stories”, p.126, The Floating Press

  47 Copy quote

• There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Matter, Jeeves, Moments

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Wonderful Wodehouse 2: A Collection: Thank You Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, The Code of the Woosters”, p.784, Random House

  27 Copy quote

• A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Humorous, Dark

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “Uneasy Money”, p.223, The Floating Press

  45 Copy quote

• It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Running, Funny Things, Giving

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.6, Courier Corporation

  15 Copy quote

• You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Party, Guy, Leaving

  "The Girl in Blue". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1970.

  9 Copy quote

• Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Boxing, Unseen

  P. G. Wodehouse, Donald R. Bensen (1985). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.262, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  26 Copy quote

• It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Sorry, Humorous

  The Man Upstairs (1914) title story

  15 Copy quote

• Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Sober, Motto

  26 Copy quote

• Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Eye, Son, Parent

  39 Copy quote

• My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Love, Glasses, People

  20 Copy quote

• I'm all for rational enjoyment, and so forth, but I think a fellow makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft-boiled eggs at the electric fan

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Thinking, Eggs, Fans

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.84, Courier Corporation

  6 Copy quote

• [He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Expression, Nephew, Wish

  8 Copy quote

• He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Chasing Rainbows, Legs

  1940 Eggs, Beans and Crumpets, 'Anselm Gets His Chance'.

  6 Copy quote

• The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Missing, Gist, Ears

  P. G. Wodehouse (2008). “Right Ho, Jeeves (EasyRead Edition)”, p.133, ReadHowYouWant.com

  6 Copy quote

• There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Hair, Getting Older

  76 Copy quote

• She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Funny, Humor, Tunnels

  P. G. Wodehouse (2016). “Expecting Jeeves”, p.25, Courier Dover Publications

  8 Copy quote

• She had more curves than a scenic railway

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Curves, Railway, Scenic

  11 Copy quote

• Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Children, Humble, Good Luck

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “A Damsel in Distress: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.107, ReadHowYouWant.com

  13 Copy quote

• The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fall, Tin, Afternoon

  P. G. Wodehouse (1992). “Mr. Mulliner Speaking”, Random House (UK)

  12 Copy quote

• Lady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Wife, Support, Elbows

  7 Copy quote

• A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.' He has probably by now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have out-generalled the man this time by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Summer, Children, Regret

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Summer Lightning: (Blandings Castle)”, p.10, Random House

  38 Copy quote

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