P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Broken, Teeth

  13 Copy quote

• But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Instance, Relative

  "Joy in the Morning".

  13 Copy quote

• [I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Broke, Ten Commandments, Psmith

  10 Copy quote

• From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Years, Humanity, Looks

  16 Copy quote

• She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Might, Moments, Ibsen

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Summer Lightning: (Blandings Castle)”, p.120, Random House

  10 Copy quote

• It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Funny, Dog, Knows

  11 Copy quote

• Do you ever get moods when life seems absolutely meaningless? It's like a badly-constructed story, with all sorts of characters moving in and out who have nothing to do with the plot. And when somebody comes along that you think really has something to do with the plot, he suddenly drops out. After a while you begin to wonder what the story is about, and you feel that it's about nothing—just a jumble.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Moving, Character, Thinking

  P. G. Wodehouse (2016). “Something New”, p.181, Lulu Press, Inc

  16 Copy quote

• ...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Rocks, Feelings

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Full Moon: (Blandings Castle)”, p.214, Random House

  19 Copy quote

• Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Looks

  93 Copy quote

• I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hangover, Broken, Machines

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

  13 Copy quote

• The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Heart, Wine, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Writing, Ladders

  27 Copy quote

• What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Names

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Clicking of Cuthbert: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.2, ReadHowYouWant.com

  5 Copy quote

• Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Tea, Want, Hell

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.290, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  9 Copy quote

• So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Optimistic, Trying, Looks

  P. G. Wodehouse (1966). “Uncle Dynamite”, Penguin Group USA

  6 Copy quote

• It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Quality, Violin, Lasts

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

  12 Copy quote

• I love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Stories, Feels

  8 Copy quote

• If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Air, Selfish People

  13 Copy quote

• In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Two, Affair

  P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “Indiscretions of Archie”, p.43, The Floating Press

  5 Copy quote

• The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Real, Cat, Air

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.228, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  12 Copy quote

• Beginning with a critique of my own limbs, which she said, justly enough, were nothing to write home about, this girl went on to dissect my manners, morals, intellect, general physique, and method of eating asparagus with such acerbity that by the time she had finished the best you could say of Bertram was that, so far as was known, he had never actually committed murder or set fire to an orphan asylum.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Home, Writing

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.116, Booklassic

  8 Copy quote

• I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Lying, Cat, Apology

  P. G. Wodehouse (2016). “Expecting Jeeves”, p.34, Courier Dover Publications

  14 Copy quote

• I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Want

  11 Copy quote

• I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  World, Moments, Oneself

  6 Copy quote

• I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a drowning man at a straw hat.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Tea, Littles

  P. G. Wodehouse (2010). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.53, The Floating Press

  9 Copy quote

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