P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 4

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• It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Autumn, Air, Blood

  P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The World of Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.626, Random House

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• I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Half

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Joy in the Morning: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.141, Random House

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• [I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Broke, Ten Commandments, Psmith

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• Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Knows

  P. G. Wodehouse (2004). “Introducing Jeeves: Six Classic Stories”, p.139, Courier Corporation

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• From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Years, Humanity, Looks

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• Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Looks

  93 Copy quote

• It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Ideas, Principles, Jeeves

  P.G. Wodehouse (2017). “Classic Wodehouse”, p.334, Random House

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• Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Husband, Men, Brain

  The Adventures of Sally (1920) ch. 10

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• Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Food, Order, Clothes

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• This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Broken, Teeth

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• But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Instance, Relative

  "Joy in the Morning".

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• The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Real, Cat, Air

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.228, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• This Vladimir Brusiloff to whom I have referred was the famous Russian novelist. . . . Vladimir specialized in gray studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page three hundred and eighty, when the moujik decided to commit suicide. . . . Cuthbert was an optimist at heart, and it seemed to him that, at the rate at which the inhabitants of that interesting country were murdering one another, the supply of Russian novelists must eventually give out.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Suicide, Country, Heart

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• The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Heart, Wine, Thinking

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• We must always remember, however,' said Psmith gravely, 'that poets are also God's creatures.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Remember, Poet, Said

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Leave it to Psmith”, p.116, Random House

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• It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Funny, Dog, Knows

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• If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Air, Selfish People

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• The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I like the crackling logs, the shaded lights, the scent of buttered toast, the general atmosphere of leisured cosiness.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Country, Light, House

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Code of the Woosters: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.56, Random House

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• What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Names

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Clicking of Cuthbert: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.2, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hangover, Broken, Machines

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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• Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Writing, Ladders

  27 Copy quote

• I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Want

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• It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Quality, Violin, Lasts

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

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• The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Snow, Pockets, Way

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• Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Tea, Want, Hell

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.290, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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