P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dog, Dachshunds, Ears

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “How Right You Are, Jeeves”, p.119, Simon and Schuster

  16 Copy quote

• A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Medicine, Trying

  4 Copy quote

• His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Light, Aspect

  "Eggs, Beans and Crumpets". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1940.

  4 Copy quote

• I remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Stars, Queens, Perfect

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Code of the Woosters: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.16, Random House

  4 Copy quote

• Many bad golfers marry, feeling that a wife's loving solicitude may improve their game. But they are rugged, thick-skinned men, not sensitive and introspective. It is one of the chief merits of golf that non-success at the game induces a certain amount of decent humilty, which keeps a man from pluming himself too much on any petty triumphs he may achieve in other walks of life.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Games

  P.G. Wodehouse (2013). “The Golf Omnibus”, p.163, Random House

  4 Copy quote

• Joan was nothing more than a friend. He was not in love with her. One does not fall in love with a girl whom one has met only three times. One is attracted, yes; but one does not fall in love. A moment's reflection enabled him to diagnose his sensations correctly. This odd impulse to leap across the compartment and kiss Joan was not love. It was merely the natural desire of a good-hearted young man to be decently chummy with his species.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Falling In Love, Kissing

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “Something New: Or, Something Fresh”, p.107, The Floating Press

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• Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I've heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we're just pals. I think she's a topper, and she thinks me next door to a looney, so everything's nice and matey.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Nice, Thinking

  11 Copy quote

• It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hurt, Children, Giving Up

  P. G. Wodehouse (1994). “The Theatre Omnibus”, Hutchinson Radius

  4 Copy quote

• The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Glasses, Giving, Whiskers

  "Uncle Dynamite". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1948.

  4 Copy quote

• I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so." "It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Stupid, Mean

  4 Copy quote

• One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Watches, Hawks, Rooms

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.22, Courier Corporation

  4 Copy quote

• The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Tests, Golfers

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.76, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  6 Copy quote

• It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Morning, Cheer, Golf

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.174, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  7 Copy quote

• Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humility, Pride, Golf

  P. G. Wodehouse (2006). “The Heart of a Goof”

  4 Copy quote

• Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dog, Fun, Men

  "The Man with Two Left Feet: And Other Stories".

  4 Copy quote

• You probably think that being a guest in your aunt's house I would hesitate to butter you all over the front lawn and dance on the fragments in hobnailed boots, but you are mistaken. It would be a genuine pleasure. By an odd coincidence I brought a pair of hobnailed boots with me!' So saying, and recognising a good exit line when he saw one, he strode out, and after an interval of tense meditation I followed him. (Spode to Wooster)

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Thinking, House

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “Jeeves And The Tie That Binds”, p.74, Simon and Schuster

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• I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la la' as I did the lathering for I was feeling in mid season form this morning.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Morning, Feelings, Form

  P.G. Wodehouse (1989). “Aunts Omnibus”, Hutchinson

  4 Copy quote

• I laughed derisively. "For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious." "I was laughing." "Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit." "Derisively," I explained.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Laughing, Sake, Serious

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.31, Booklassic

  4 Copy quote

• This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Age, Literature, May

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “Something New: Or, Something Fresh”, p.67, The Floating Press

  4 Copy quote

• I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry over your shots. Take the case of a chip shot, for instance. If you're really wretched, you don't care where the ball is going and so you don't raise your head to see. Grief automatically prevents pressing and over-swinging. Look at the top-notchers. Have you ever seen a happy pro?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Grief, Golf, Games

  4 Copy quote

• He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Taken, Dancer, Twelve

  P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “The Man with Two Left Feet: And Other Stories”, p.170, The Floating Press

  4 Copy quote

• Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Wind, Jelly

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.96, Courier Corporation

  4 Copy quote

• I suppose even Dictators have their chummy moments, when they put their feet up and relax with the boys, but it was plain from the outset that if Roderick Spode had a sunnier side, he had not come with any idea of exhibiting it now. His manner was curt. One sensed the absence of the bonhomous note. ... Here he laid a hand on my shoulder, and I can't remember when I have experienced anything more unpleasant. Apart from what Jeeves would have called the symbolism of the action, he had a grip like the bite of a horse. "Did you say 'Oh yes?'" he asked. "Oh no," I assured him.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Horse, Boys, Hands

  4 Copy quote

• I wonder what Tommy Morris would have had to say to all this number 6-iron, number 12-iron, number 28-iron stuff. He probably wouldn't have said anything, just made one of those strange Scottish noises at the back of his throat like someone gargling.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Iron, Numbers

  6 Copy quote

• Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Classic, Hellhounds

  'The Code of the Woosters' (1938) ch. 1

  28 Copy quote

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